Managing expectations

Managing expectations

A friend and fellow student of the pickup arts asked me a question in confidence today. He showed me a rather long email that he received from his ex-girlfriend. It detailed how obsessed she was with him, and how she can’t get him off her mind.

He no longer wishes to be her boyfriend, but she’s hooked because he abused his PUA power by creating nearly unbreakable connections just so that he could guarantee sex and a relationship with this girl. Needless to say, she really wants to re-establish an exclusive relationship with him. The question he posed to me was:

“Honestly, I just want her vagina because it was so tight, but I was ever so dumb to fucking mindwash her, and now I can’t get the vagina, without getting the entire package with it. I don’t want the entire fucking package, and you seem the only guy to go to on this. What do I say to this email?”

The following was my response:

Get ready for an epic “I told you so.”

I told you so.

An ounce of prevention is more valuable than a pound of cure. It’s better to manage expectations than to have to deal with damage control. Hopefully now you’ll stop teaching AFCs to establish deep connections that they’ll inevitably regret later. 😉

My ability to foresee these kinds of things comes from having been a wbAFC who’s been on the other side of it over many experiences. I don’t want women to feel the kind of disillusioned attachment and suffering I’ve been through. That kinda shit is totally lose-lose.

Hopefully now you also further understand why “forbidden patterns” are “forbidden” in the first place… even though you have yet to experience the full extent of the consequences that can stem from them.

The best solution I can come up with would be to [the solution I presented to him is irrelevant to the point I’m trying to make in this blog post, so I’ll leave it out.]

Oh, and make your intentions to just have sex with her clear from the start this time. One of the biggest reasons that a PUA must know exactly what he wants is so that he can sincerely communicate those intentions to his potential lovers.

And don’t forget to leave her better than you found her. Hopefully you’ll choose to steer this boat in a direction that lets her continue on her life a more optimistic, wise, and mature individual rather than a cynical, jaded, and man-hating bitch.


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  1. I heard you are having a seminar in March. When and where is it?

  2. pua69,
    It shall be in or near New Orleans, but I haven’t determined the exact date just yet.

    Keep an eye on the announcements in the “PUA Lounge” section at for updates from time to time.

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