The Burden of Leadership

The Burden of Leadership

Let me tell you about one of the biggest mistakes a lot of guys make when they’re interacting with women.

This one thing annoys the fuck out of women.

If a guy does this to a girl, it makes her feel like he’s sucking blood straight from her veins to keep himself alive. It then becomes impossible for her to feel attraction for him.

I once asked an AFC to visualize himself walking up to a woman he found attractive and talking to her. When he described the sarge he pictured in his head to me, I found something quite troubling. In the little movie he created in his mind, everything that caused the sarge to move forward was external. In his story, the girl conveniently provided him with all the opportunities for him to number-close, time bridge, kiss-close, etc. She also carried most of the conversation. Nothing was the result of his own leading actions. In the frame of reality he chose for himself, a sarge could only be successful if “fate” would allow it.

Now, I’m not writing this article to harp on the importance of having an Internal Locus of Control. That shit’s basic. What I want to stress here is what I consider to be the number 1 factor of my game: Leading Frame.

A number of years ago, I attended a pickup workshop by some small-time PUAs. During one of the drills, I pretended to be a girl in a book store while one of the other students had to approach and strike up a conversation with me. He was a newbie, so he didn’t really know what to do except open with “What are you reading?” I cut him some slack and responded positively with a shitload of different conversational hooks for him to grab hold of. Unfortunately, he went into that boring interview mode where he asked one question at a time while I just gave answers. It was obvious that I was carrying most of the conversation.

He was putting the burden of leading the conversation onto my shoulders.

Girls hate it when guys do this. It is not in their feminine nature to lead their male sexual partner. This is why most traditional dances label the man as the leader and the woman as the follower. It’s just an analogy for a sexual relationship.

This doesn’t only apply to conversation, though. In this day and age, after the blossoming of political correctness and feminaziism, many men have simply given up on being men and surrendered their leadership position in several things, mistakenly thinking that it’s what women have always wanted. (By “leadership position,” I mean in the social interactions between men and women, not necessarily career opportunities or anything else.)

Well, first of all, that’s not what women have always wanted. They’ve just wanted freedom from the objectification that came as a result of generations upon generations of sexual oppression. Men have suppressed women’s sexuality and now the women are fucking pissed. Now they want to indulge in their sexual liberation as much as they can. Now, how can women enjoy sex?

Well, let me tell you. Women won’t be able to get turned on if they are burdened with masculine responsibilities such as leadership. They’ll only be able to experience true pleasure if they surrender themselves to a real man who can lead them to the bed of paradise. Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out already, sex is the root of all interactions between the sexes. It’s all analogous to it.

OK, back to simple conversation. A guy is talking to a girl. If he leads the interaction, everything is right with the universe. If he gives up his masculine responsibility and dumps the burden of leadership upon her shoulders, that’s just messed up.

In short,  man up and take the lead. Take the lead for where the conversation is going, take the lead for how the logistics line up, take the lead in expressing your best self, and she will naturally feel an unwavering desire to follow suit.

Alright, Mr. Ambition, where are you leading her? Don’t forget to keep whatever goal you have in mind solid. That’s what men do. We have goals. However, stay zen and don’t attach yourself to the outcome so you can allow yourself to live in the moment and enjoy each passing second of the interaction. Balance, my friend. Balance.


Share the love:
Facebook Twitter Pinterest Plusone Linkedin Digg Reddit Stumbleupon Tumblr Email


  1. It makes sense especially since along with listening to her, there is a need to lead the conversation. Even while listening to her, you are able to make the right conversations. Sometimes there is too much listening and not enough conversing which makes women end up hating us because they think we aren’t listening or become friend-zoned. There is the need to definitely lead the conversation so its not like we are asking questions the entire time lol

Speak Your Mind