Chief’s Outer Game Guide

Chief’s Outer Game Guide

The following is essentially the stripped-down skeleton of my Outer Game.

I have designed this to be a practical guide for beginners (or intermediates who seek a simpler, more effective style of pickup) with just the bare essentials in mind. Try to follow this model without overcomplicating it with additional material at first so that nothing will get in the way of you understanding how this is working in the field.

1. Opening

For your opener, simply saying “hi” and introducing yourself with a smile and a handshake will do. No pressure. It’s just being social. Offer your name first and they will tell you theirs.

“Alright, Chief. That sounds fine for when the girl is alone, but what about for groups of multiple people? Don’t I need to open the entire set?”

You don’t need to engage the entire set with your opener. When there is a group of people gathered anywhere, not everyone is going be talking all at the same time. You can open a single individual from the group without talking to anyone else at first. Sometimes, one or a few people are even going to be completely disengaged from whatever is going on within their set.

Introduce yourself to the girl you’re interested in (or anyone from the group, for that matter – but keep in mind that you will likely have the most rapport with whomever you spoke to first) and start talking to her (see Conversation).

Be aware of your surroundings. If you start feeling tension because of the other people in her group, smile, make eye contact, and introduce yourself to everyone with a firm and friendly handshake. Don’t be afraid to ask for people’s names a second time if you didn’t catch them or if you immediately forgot them.

Opening a girl this way has a very low chance of rejection because she is going to want to reciprocate your politeness. You’re both operating under the frame of “meeting new people is normal”; any socially aware person would have that frame if he or she were out at a public place like a bar. And, since you’re physically close enough to shake hands, it’s going to be hard to ignore you.

That’s the quick and dirty, simple way to open. It’s all you’ll ever really need. Sometimes, though, there’s more to opening than just saying “Hi.”

“Forcing IOIs” is another technique you can use to prime someone to be more receptive to your approach. Click HERE to learn more about the system this technique comes from.

2. The Compliance Ladder

compliance-ladder

In order to understand the compliance ladder you must understand the foot-in-the-door phenomenon from the field of social psychology.

Foot-in-the-door phenomenon: People’s tendency to comply more readily with a large request if they have already agreed to a smaller favor.
(source: psychcentral.com)

In short, the compliance ladder is a series of compliance tests that gradually increases in investment. By “investment” I mean how much energy she needs to expend in order to pass your compliance test.

The first thing you need to do on this ladder is to make a small request. Hey, but guess what? You’ve already begun the process by offering your hand for a handshake. She passed your first compliance test by offering her hand for a handshake.

Other low-investment compliance tests include:
* Asking her to hold something for you while you do something else
* Asking her to get you a glass of water if she’s going to the bar to get herself another drink
* Asking her to watch your stuff while you go to the bathroom
* Seeing if she accepts low-risk kino such as touching her shoulder to emphasize a point

After she passes a compliance test, move up the ladder by giving her a bigger compliance test. Keep doing this until you’re having sex.

If at any point she does not pass a compliance test, just move down one step on the compliance ladder and do more compliance tests from that level. Once she passes a couple of those, try the next step again, or try to find a step between those two steps for a smoother transition.

Examples of bigger compliance tests, roughly in order of low-investment to high-investment, include:
* Seeing if she lets you take her hand and spin her around
* Closer physical proximity
* Asking her if she can keep a secret
* Whispering a secret into her ear
* Hug
* Seeing if she accepts THE CLAW (your arm over her shoulder)
* Seeing if she lets you hold her hand as you talk to her
* Pointing to your cheek to let her kiss you on the cheek as a “reward” for passing the previous compliance test
* Touching her hair
* Touching her face
* Kissing her on the cheek
* Kiss
* Make out
* Groping
* …and so on and so forth

These are just a FEW examples. In addition to these compliance tests, get creative and make your own compliance tests.

If you haven’t figured this out already, each step on the compliance ladder has a physical/kino aspect to it. I realize that my examples lists pretty much resembles a kino escalation ladder. Well, compliance is pretty much the unsung hero of any sort of escalation. Forget looking for IOIs; look for compliance.

So, to answer any questions like “How do I kiss her?” The answer is this: Work your way up the compliance ladder by getting her to do stuff that you think requires less investment from her than a kiss.

3. Conversation

Before we get to the actual “what to say” portion, there’s something you must do on your own.

Sit down and physically write (or type) out a list of qualities that you look for in a woman. If you’re too inexperienced to have any idea of what you want in a woman besides “hot,” then just make an arbitrary list of personality traits that you THINK would be nice for now.

As an example, here is my list:
* Open-minded
* Adventurous
* Respectful of others
* Caring
* Unselfish
* Compassionate
* Passionate about something
* Feminine
* A little weird in some way
* Openly bisexual
* Likes music and dancing
* Self-aware
* Doesn’t hold grudges
* Allows herself to live in the moment
* Not a communist

It’s important to have a list of at least 10 qualities. THESE WILL BE YOUR CONVERSATION TOPICS.

The next time you’re talking to a woman, screen her for these qualities. Ask her questions that you think will give her an opportunity to demonstrate these qualities to you. For example, if “kind” is on you list, do not ask direct questions like “Are you kind?” Instead, lead the conversation so that she might tell you about a time when she did something kind. This may even give you an opportunity to tell a story from your life, etc. Your list pretty much takes care of the conversation on its own as it keeps generating things to talk about.

As an example, here is something I might say:
(in reference to the “open-minded” and “adventurous” points on my list)
Chief: When’s the last time you came here?
Girl: Oh, this is my first time!
Chief: Nice. Do you often go to new places or did your friends have to drag you out here kicking and screaming? ;)
Girl: Haha I actually love going to new places.
Chief: I like you. You’re not afraid of new experiences.
Girl: Hell no, I love new experiences! :)
Chief: Have you ever been to (exciting place)?
…You get the idea.

Bear in mind that you don’t have to prepare a script ahead of time. Just know what you’re looking for in a woman and trust yourself to generate the appropriate fluff talk when the time comes. If you freeze up while you’re actually talking to her, just relax and tell her that you’re a little shy and not really used to doing this sort of thing. She’ll appreciate the honesty and may even help move the conversation forward if you don’t run away with your tail tucked between your legs. If she doesn’t, then simply taking a breath and relaxing may help you get over mental blocks. Remember: If you’re genuinely curious about her then you’ll never run out of stuff to talk about.

As you learn more about women, yourself, and what you want, modify your list accordingly.

4. Sexual SFT

The SFT stands for State, Frame, and Tension. Think of Sexual State as what you do on the inside (as in, inside your own mind and body) and Sexual Frame as what you establish on the outside (as in, using words). Sexual Tension is the force you create with that state and frame. If you are a beginner to pickup then just focus on Sexual State for now.

Sexual State

Sexual state is a controlled state of arousal. It’s just feeling horny. While you are interacting with a woman, do whatever it takes to feel incredibly aroused on the inside, but be completely normal on the outside.

In order to get into sexual state, some PUAs visualize having sex with the girl they’re talking to while they are talking to them. Some visualize her giving him a blowjob. Personally, I like to stay in the present moment and focus on the things about her that turn me on, such as a neckline, for example. Try all of that and see what works best for you. Erection = win.

Why is sexual state so important? In order to seduce a woman into bed you must have her be sexually aroused. Being horny yourself will help her achieve the same state. If you want to learn more about how this concept of state transfer works, look up “Mirror neurons” on wikipedia.

Like the compliance ladder, treat sexual state as an escalation of low to high. Start off with a low sexual state and, as your seduction progresses, turn the volume up gradually until you’re really horny.

Sexual Frame

I define sexual framing as anything that potentially gets the woman thinking about having sex with you.

How do you get a woman to think about having sex with you? There are many ways to do so. One day I observed a “natural” casually interacting with a group of people I was a part of. I was shocked at some of the crudely sexual remarks that came out of his mouth, but my shock would quickly subside when I noticed how congruent and unapologetic he was with his frame. I justified his behavior in my head, “That’s just who he is. He must just be a really sexually aware guy.” Besides, he wasn’t being confrontational or creepy or anything like that. He seemed like he was just being his own damn self, completely comfortable in his own skin.

What he was doing was essentially giving us all ample opportunity to squeeze our imaginations and produce sexual thoughts by using sexually charged language. It was then I realized that I must take more risks by engaging in potentially socially inappropriate behavior that clearly steers an interaction toward a sexual direction. For example:

Girl: So I was shopping the other day (something completely unrelated to sex)
Chief: What? Let’s have sex? Well, OK then.
Girl: …
Chief: Oh wait, that’s not what you said. It’s not a bad idea, though.
Girl: Huh?
Chief: OK OK You’re convincing me. Anyways, what were you saying about shopping?
Girl: *giggle giggle giggle*

Sexual Framing can be as simple or as advanced as you need it to be. It can be as simple as using the word “sexy” when describing yourself or something about her, or as advanced as the “Grand Master Style” where you calibrate extremely vulgar phrases with a “just kidding.” It can be as simple as using the old “That’s what she said” line when you get an opportunity to use it, or as advanced as a trance-hijacking NLP pattern. Start off with the simple shit.

All in all you should keep this in mind when it comes to Sexual Framing: As long as you are somehow giving her the mental image of her having sex with you, you’re doing it right.

Sexual Tension

Building Sexual Tension gives you that feeling of needing closure. The more of it you build, the more you’ll want to fuck each others brains out.

Tension is something that’s created when two opposing forces are combined somehow. To apply tension to sexual attraction, you must combine a force that’s moving the sexual vibe forward and a force that actually holds the sexual vibe back. One of the most common ways to do this is to evoke sexual arousal within yourself and the woman while talking about something that’s completely nonsexual.

Because of the way in which these techniques use opposing forces in harmony, any application of the push/pull dynamic, the concept of 2-steps-forward-1-step-back, and cat string theory to the sexual vibe of an interaction will build Sexual Tension.

Another technique that builds Sexual Tension is triangular gazing. While you use triangular gazing, you are communicating the fact that you are thinking about kissing her. However, since this desire isn’t verbalized, you end up building sexual tension.

An extreme example of building Sexual Tension is Ciaran’s “Shock and Awe” technique. While using Shock and Awe you are verbally and physically expressing your pure desire but demonstrating an attempt to suppress your desire at the same time.

I like pickup methods that focus primarily on building sexual tension, like 60 Years of Challenge. Click here to learn more about mastering sexual tension through this simple method.

5. Seduction Logistics

Before you leave your house, you should have a plan on how you’re going to bring a girl you meet to your place, your car, the club bathroom, or wherever you’re planning to whip your dick out without getting in trouble with the law. Even if you’re planning on having sex on a day 2 (date) instead of the same night you meet her, you still need a solid plan for logistics.

Start your planning from the end and work your way to the beginning. Where will you have sex? Where will your condom be?

How will you smoothly transition to the place you want to have sex from the previous location?

How will you smoothly transition to that location from the one before that? …and so on and so forth. Have your map figured out in your head. Even if it’s a rudimentary logistics plan for now, this map of yours will grow and evolve as you learn from your experiences and adapt.

This is something that I cannot give you too much guidance on because it all depends on the specific location you live in and your specific living conditions. You are the person who knows these things best.

Aside from figuring out stuff based on your situation, another important part of Seduction Logistics is finding out what her situation is. What are her plans for later in the night? Book them to be with you. Does it seem like her having a boyfriend is getting in the way? User a boyfriend destroyer (I recommend the Straw Man Technique). Does she live on the opposite side of town from where you live? Talk about how easy it is to catch cabs in the morning. Might her friends see her leaving with you and call her a slut? Give her some plausible deniability to work with.

That’s essentially my “method” that I’ve put together from other methods I’ve practiced. It is important to note that the above model is not a linear progression that goes from Open, Compliance Ladder, Conversation, Sexual SFT, then Seduction Logistics. Everything after the Opener should be happening simultaneously. The Compliance Ladder, however, is linear.

If the above guide served as a skeletal backbone for outer game, the following sections will make up the muscles:

6. Managing Expectations

As a practitioner of the pickup arts you have an obligation to try your best to adhere to the rule of “Leave her better than you found her.” Different people have different interpretations of this phrase, but regardless of how you see it, you need to manage expectations properly in order stay consistent with that rule.

Another big reason to manage expectations properly is to quickly cut through bullshit that wastes your time and to prevent drama. So it’s really better for everyone. Don’t be afraid of losing a girl if she’s strictly looking for a relationship while you’re just looking to get laid with no strings attached. There are plenty of beautiful women who will fuck just for a good fuck, and they won’t try to attach all those strings to you if you don’t want them.

So, how do we manage expectations properly? It’s simple, really:

Tell her what you’re looking for, or tell her what you’re not looking for.

For example, if you’re not looking for a relationship, one “I’m not looking for a relationship. I just want to have fun for now!” will suffice. If you actually are in this for a girlfriend, one “I’m looking to meet the right girl” will do just fine. Squeeze one of those types of lines into your conversation somewhere that’s contextually relevant.

Sure, if you happen to have a random drunk hookup with a girl from the bar or club, most of the time it will be understood by both parties that it was just a drunk hookup and nothing more. Still, though, always manage expectations as a rule of thumb. Make your intentions clear as soon as you feel that spark of electric sexual tension in the air between you and her.

Being honest will never compromise your seduction as long as you remain consistently honest. Besides, this model of seduction isn’t based on “value” like some other methods, so you have no reason to be dishonest in the first place when you’re using this stuff.

Oh, and if you’re still unsure about what you’re looking for (girlfriend, fuck buddies, friends with benefits, one night stands, multiple wives, dominatrix mistress, etc.), figure it out first. How are you supposed to be upfront with your intentions if you don’t know what the hell your intentions are in the first place? Don’t be a blind guy flailing around in the dark. Man up and shoot straight.

For information specifically on how to manage expectations to create a Friends With Benefits relationship, check out my post about it by clicking here.

7. Lowering ASD

The mainstream PUA view on Anti-Slut Defense is that you need to passively avoid triggering it. Wouldn’t it be more effective to actively lower it? Don’t you think that actively lowering ASD might actually get the girl to think, “Hmm… This guy is safe to have sex with,” which would greatly help progress your seduction forward?

Establishing a sexual frame while actively lowering ASD will also lead to greater sexual tension. This shit is so full of win.

If you’re familiar with the theories of Vin DiCarlo, you may have heard of Objection Game. In Objection Game, DiCarlo teaches that women have a list of fears when it comes to having sex with a new guy, and neutralizing each of these fears would give her absolutely no reason to not sleep with you.

The “fear” that stands out most to me, and the one that seems most relevant to ASD, is essentially the fear of becoming known as a slut, or “this guy is going to tell everyone that he had sex with me!”

DiCarlo recommends telling some sort of story that demonstrates that you’re not the type of guy to do such a thing. Zan Perrion recommends just telling the girl “I’m a discreet guy” or something like that. I actually run a routine (gasp!). Here it is:

Chief: Can you keep a secret?
Girl: Yes!
Chief: Cool.
Girl: …
Chief: …
Girl: …
Chief: …
Girl: WHAT’S THE SECRET???
Chief: Oh, I just wanted to know if you could keep a secret because I like being discreet.

It’s better to use this routine when there is a lot of sexual tension already present. If you don’t say this in the presence of sexual tension, she might not catch the sexual intent behind what you say, which is bad.

You don’t have to use my routine word for word. All you have to do is somehow communicate that you’re not going to socially betray her for trusting you with her body, and that you would expect the same respect from her. Oh, and make sure you keep to your end of the deal, of course. Keep her personal information (including her first name) out of FRs and don’t tell your friends that you fucked her. Would you rather have your ego pumped up and get laid less, or would you rather have no name and get laid more? Fuck your ego; you don’t need it.

8. Text/Phone Game

First things first, in order to initiate contact through a phone you must have the girl’s phone number. In reference to the compliance ladder, getting a phone number is actually pretty low on it. You only need as much compliance to get a phone as getting her to accept a hug, and with a lot of girls you don’t even need that much. Once you’ve gone through those first few steps on the compliance ladder, simply asking to exchange contact information will suffice.

There’s a rule in business that goes something like “Face to face is always better than a phone call, and a phone call is always better than an email.” Business and pickup have many of the same rules, and this one is no exception. Let’s say that email and text messaging are on equal level.

Since we are prioritizing face to face interactions, the goal of calling and texting is ultimately arranging a meet up. You cannot fuck her through a phone. Phone sex is unsatisfying and sexting is for teens who hang out at the mall. Leave the children’s play to the children.

Keep the texting minimal and at most just use fluff talk to further establish a sexual frame. For example, mass text “Hey sexy” to every attractive girl in your phone. For every girl that replies, just keep it simple and don’t try anything but shallow, flirty conversation. There’s a very big chance that you could fuck things up over text and a very small chance that you’ll actually get anywhere with it, so don’t even bother trying to “build attraction” or whatnot here.

A good general rule to follow when it comes to arranging a meet up is to do it via phone call instead of text. Use text just to check up on girls from time to time to see how they’re doing and to tell them (mass text) about parties you’re going to and shit like that. If you’re too shy to talk about the more important shit (like arranging a meet up) with your voice, too fucking bad. The only way to get over a fear is by doing the thing you fear. You will teach yourself how to be more confident through experience.

It’s definitely OK to use phone calls to just shoot the shit and have shallow, flirty conversations, too. In fact, I highly encourage doing so before you try arranging a meet up. It’ll get the girl accustomed to just talking to you without any pressure. How do you have a shallow and flirty conversation? Talk about anything while ramping up your sexual state as you would be doing face to face. You’ll find the answer while you’re in that state. It’s like only being able to find the answer to a zen koan only through the state of meditation.

The main key to talking on the phone is to be relaxed, unless you’re genuinely excited and pumped up about something. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only talk about being relaxed for phone game in this guide.

Take a deep breath before you call her. Or, if you find it more effective/relaxing to just impulsively call without allowing yourself to think and get nervous about it, do that. What I actually do is to put myself into somewhat of a tired/sleepy state before dialing. I may even yawn before pressing that green button. That pretty much exaggerates my relaxed tone but that’s just fine.

Shoot the shit, ask her what she’s up to, tell her what you’re up to, follow the conversation guide in the OP, etc. Talk about whatever the hell you want to talk about. It doesn’t matter. Then, ask her what she’s doing on a day that you have time to hang out with her. If she’s busy on that day, ask her when she’s free to hang out. Ask her if she wants to do something with you. Have a plan. The plan itself it up to you. If she’s making herself completely unavailable, you probably needed more work on the previous step of the compliance ladder. It’s OK; you can easily go out and meet a dozen more women.

And it really is as simple as that.

9. Rapid Kino Escalation Dance Floor Game

A great man once said, “The dance floor is a trap” and advised students of pickup to avoid the dance floor at all costs. Some great men say some really stupid shit.

Kino escalating on the dance floor is very easy. Since my game is pretty much based on arousal and compliance, I use the dance floor to turn her on and compliance test simultaneously and very quickly. The reasons I have “likes music and dancing” in my list of qualities that I look for in a woman is that I know I can use rapid kino escalation dance floor game very easily on a girl who actually likes to dance. It makes seducing her a lot easier. If I met her somewhere outside of a club, such as a bar without any space to dance or a store, I’m going to screen her for this quality to see if I could have some fun taking her to a club.

Sure, you can approach women who are already on the dance floor, but here’s how I mainly use it:

Once you’ve established a subjectively decent amount of compliance, take her hand and start leading her to the dance floor. This is another compliance test in and of itself, and, like getting a phone number, it’s pretty low on the compliance ladder.

You don’t have to be a great dancer to do this. You don’t even have to be a good dancer to do this. You just need to be willing to have fun and unafraid of getting very physical very fast.

The key is to physically lead her body. Communicate with your hands and the rest of your body what you want her to do. You’re basically telling her what you want to see. You’re compliance testing her (i.e. telling her what to do and seeing if she does it) the entire time! If you don’t really know what you should be physically telling her, let your penis be your guide. Quiet your mind and listen to what your cock is telling you. Just let your horniness take over. It’s kind of like “going caveman.”

Move to the rhythm of the music, but you don’t have to do anything fancy. Your main job is to communicate with your body language what you want herto do. Women are the ones who are good at dancing. You don’t have to compete. She wants to show her body off to you. She wants to make you want her.

Here are some compliance tests that you can give on the dance floor, roughly in order of low-investment to high-investment:

* Take her hand and give her a spin (old community classic).
* Point to your cheek to have her kiss it.
* Pick her up and spin her around.
* Grab her belt loops (if any) and see if she moves her hips to the movement of your arms.
* Turn her around by her hips.
* Grind.
* Get very close and smell her neck. Tell her that she smells good.
* Move your hands all over her body.
* Run your fingers through her hair (be careful as some girls might have some shit like extensions or a lot of product).
* Pin her against the wall by her wrists.
* Kiss her neck.
* Make out.
* Grope her ass.
* Play with her pant and panty line.
…and so on and so forth.

With enough compliance you can get really far really fast on the dance floor. You might believe that this is impossible and that escalating so fast would scare her off, but try it. It’s not as easy to scare her away with fast escalation as you would think. Just try and see what you can “get away” with. :wink:

10. A Loving Attitude

It’s interesting when a girl tries to read me. If she gets to know me a little, it’s amazing how well she can interpret my personality. Lots of women in New Orleans, for instance, have cold reading skills that a PUA could never hope to match. Girls have told me bafflingly accurate statements based on my astrological signs and shit like that. A girl I was on a date with once told me something that really stood out to me. She said, “You know that everyone loves you, but you don’t expect them to.”

I felt very complimented. That’s pretty much exactly what I was going for. I also realized that it was one of the biggest reasons why anyone who liked me actually liked me.

Not only is it important to assume love without expecting it, but it is also important to give love to and feel compassion for everyone. I know that this might sound like a ridiculous and impossible standard to hold for some of you reading this, but it’s a standard that you should be constantly striving to achieve.

You can achieve feeling compassion for someone by making an earnest effort to imagine yourself in his or her shoes. Everyone’s got a tough journey to walk, and, believe it not, we’re all trying what we think is the best we can with what we’ve got.

Once you’ve learned to open yourself up to love and compassion like this, developing rapport and connecting sexually becomes completely easy and natural, provided that you communicate sexual intent without any sexual hangups.

Go do a good deed or something.

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