It all starts with you.

It all starts with you.

Here’s some heavy stuff.

When I was in middle school, I was depressed. It was pretty bad. I thought nobody in the world could ever really care about me. In turn, I didn’t give a damn about anyone, myself, the world, whatever. I saw life through a narrow pessimistic scope. I saw myself as worthless, useless, and also as a victim. I had no faith in humanity or its potential to love. I remember one time I was sitting at my desk, reaching for the nearest long sharp object I could grab hold of. It was a foot-long pair of scissors and I held the sharp end against my neck. Fuck writing a note or a last letter; I didn’t give a shit. I was sitting in front of my computer because that’s where I usually was. I was pretty withdrawn and not very social, which explains why I would just be in front of the computer a lot, but of course I had that secret desire to be able to have fun and be social with others, so I was logged onto AOL Instant Messenger. By sheer coincidence, right as I was about to escape by shoving those scissors through my throat, a window pops up. It’s an Instant Message from one of my female friends, Emily.

Emily was the type of girl who was just naturally happy and joyful, and she had the habit of doing something that pickup artists call “giving value,” or just sharing the feeling of love and positivity with others. She just randomly IMed me with “I love you!” out of the blue. At the time I just thought it was a sign from God (I used to be Christian) that He wanted me to continue living, that He had some sort of plan for me, so I put the scissors down. As a Zen Buddhist and as a “pickup artist” now, I look back at that and see something else, something more. I had no faith in humanity. I didn’t think anyone could genuinely care about other people. Emily, though, loved and cared about everyone in her life. She saw friends as family and strangers as friends. She would not hesitate to go out of her way for the sake of helping others. I see humanity as a whole very differently now. I know the potential for human beings to love each other, to live a life of compassion, mostly because I can now see that potential within myself. In my life’s journey since that day with the scissors, I think I have become one of these kinds of people, or at least I am striving to become one. I think that’s just beautiful.

I think every pickup artist MUST develop this positive habit. RSD talks about giving value. As much as I hate to quote him, Mehow talks about giving value. Mark Redman, the relatively new guru on College Game who automatically subscribes you to a “Mastermind Program” by taking money from your bank account monthly without giving enough warning ahead of time when you buy his ebook, refers to it as “giving love.” Plenty of pickup companies nowadays are catching on because the habit of giving value is an extraordinarily attractive trait.

I think that the GENUINE habit of giving value is rooted in the feeling of compassion. I believe that all human beings are naturally compassionate. To have compassion for others, one must understand others. To understand others, one must understand himself. Some people have great difficulty in expressing their compassion because they allow themselves to be blinded by ego. Now, where did this ego come from?

When a man isn’t self-aware, he allows his ego to creep up to compensate for the metaphorical wounds he has suffered from early on in his life. This is practically unavoidable, unless the man has had a perfect childhood. We usually call those guys “Naturals,” by the way. Not to say that ALL Natural pickup artists have been raised flawlessly, of course.

The ego disallows us from accepting reality as it is, which in turn disallows us from taking the right actions toward positive change. For example, our ego tells us to stay in our comfort zone by telling us that we are “good enough,” when in reality we want to IMPROVE. A man can let his ego tell him that doing cold approaches isn’t his “style.” A man can let his ego tell him that he doesn’t need to read a book on pickup or relationships because he is above doing things like that. A man can let his ego tell him that he doesn’t need to challenge himself by moving onto level 2 because he’s already good at level 1. Ultimately, the ego makes us closed-minded.

A man does have the ability, however, to muster enough self-control to tame his ego. Trust me, Buddhists do it all the time. It takes humility to hold an empty cup, but it’s easy to have humility when you can admit to yourself that you are currently not the best man you could possibly be, but you are striving to become your best self. As my friend RedpoleQ once said, “A man isn’t what you are. A man is what you become.”

Once someone lets go of ego, it becomes easy to practice non-resistance. I learned from RSD’s Blueprint program that resistance is actually an emotion we feel. Once we accept reality for what it is by NOT letting ourselves feel resistance (come on, we’re men so we can control our own emotions), we can allow ourselves to take the right actions to change our very reality. To me this is like an amazing 2-step program that can solve any problem. First, you accept yourself and reality. Then, you take right action to change yourself and reality.

All of this leads to a greater sense of self-awareness, which leads to a greater sense of understanding, which leads to an unlocking of your naturally compassionate nature, which leads to an unlocking of your natural habit of giving love and value, which leads to attracting more people, *cough*which leads to you getting laid*cough*. All of this makes you a better person in the end, which allows for a greater opportunity in leaving everyone you interact with better than you found them.

Imagine a world full of compassion and positive energy like that. Wow, right? And it all starts with you.

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  1. Oh scissors. The peril of humanity…

    I’d like to believe we can mature even more thoroughly by equipping our minds with the right “software” than by physical development alone. It certainly was my case when I discovered the community.

    Personally, I strive to enrich the world with something so that my life isn’t meaningless after I die. That’s the reason I write, also the reason why I considered studying biotech & related shit – I think research there can seriously benefit our lives.

    In other news, I’m back in Slovakia, and hoping to use the “Clothes” opener, or the “Jindo dog” routine on Slovak ladies. It should be fun 🙂

    Hope’s all good in New Orleans, man. Best of luck,


    P. S. On my flight back, they played this ultra-comical scene in which they’ve interchanged the “l” in luck for an “f”. I guess that speaks for itself… 😀

  2. Anonymous says:

    Good read chieftan.

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