How to Become Popular

The key to becoming popular is to give people what they want.

But wait, there’s more!

Did you really think that I’d be done in just one sentence?

After all, you can’t just survey all of the people you want to be friends with by asking them, “What do you want?” Most people don’t even know what they want.

That’s because most people aren’t popular.

You see, a popular person knows exactly what he or she wants. That’s a prerequisite for knowing how to give other people what they want.

Am I still speaking too abstractly here? OK, let me be more specific. I’ll tell you what you everyone wants.

Everyone wants to feel accepted. You want to feel accepted. That’s probably why you’re reading this article right now. In fact, you want to feel accepted so desperately, you’re trying your very best not to let anyone know that you want to feel accepted. Desperation is shameful, after all. The truth is, though… you’re not any different from anyone else in this regard.

Let me rephrase the first sentence I wrote in the beginning of this article.

The key to becoming popular is to give people what you want to get in a social context. More specifically, the key to becoming popular is to make other people feel accepted.

It’s very important to know what you want, and also how you want it. If you’re not used to any form of popularity at all, you probably don’t know how much it sucks for someone to relentlessly pour “acceptance” onto you by complimenting you too much, calling you several time a day, and overall just giving you way too much attention with fake smiles 24/7. So, you might read the advice I wrote above and mistakenly overdo the whole accepting-other-people thing.

Some people – and hopefully you’re not one of them – are so desperate for acceptance at an extreme level that they automatically assume that everyone wants the extreme attention and validation that they crave, so they become a spineless “nice guy” that annoys everyone with his needy “giving” behavior.

I’m guessing that many of you reading this, however, have absolutely no clue that other people want any acceptance from you in the first place! You might have a poor self-image and think of yourself as “low value” because people don’t give you acceptance. If you’re low-value, why would other people want acceptance from you?

Well, that line of thinking is a bunch of rationalized bullshit based on the illusion of separation created by your ego. If you think you’re low-value, it’s not because of a lack of acceptance you get from others. It’s because you think of yourself as low-value that you’re low-value.

You know what, though? Don’t even think about value. Everyone on this planet is a human being just like you. We’re all fighting the good fight called life. We may all have different circumstances and blessings and troubles that make us unique individuals, but in the end humanity is just one big ocean of value that constantly flows in a dynamic manner. There’s no point in keeping track of separate value rankings for different people because we’re all connected anyway.

Now that we got the philosophy out of the way, let’s get back to the main point:

To become popular, you must give acceptance to others. Instead of constantly wanting to receive acceptance from others, you must shift your focus to making other people feel good first.

Think about all of the most popular people you know in your life right now. No, I’m not talking about the jocks and cheerleaders from high school way back in your hormonal days. I’m assuming that all my readers are old enough to drink alcohol, so try to remember the last party you went to.

Popular dude walks into the room. What happens? All of a sudden the room lights up and everyone is giving him attention and acceptance. Well, at least that’s what you saw at first. Now try to think of it in the context of which direction the energy is flowing from the popular dude. You might notice that he was basically radiating positive energy outward, as is he were giving everyone good energy.

Unpopular shy dude walks into the room. Everyone looks at him for a split second then they go back to whatever they were doing. Why? He didn’t stand out because his energy was flowing in the opposite direction. He wasn’t focused on giving anyone anything. He was too busy worried about what everyone else thought of him.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I’ll leave it at that for now. You get what I’m saying, right? 😉

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Chief

P.S. Come back tomorrow  (or the day after tomorrow) for some exciting news!