Half-Year Relationship Update

Half-Year Relationship Update

It’s been nearly 6 months since I started dating this girl. I have learned a lot so far seeing as this has been the most serious exclusive relationship I’ve ever been in. I think it has a lot to do with the fact with me learning beforehand that 1. you only grow if you do something you’re uncomfortable doing/afraid to do and 2. it’s foolish to close your heart and to stop yourself from fully loving someone.

I learned the first point about getting out of your comfort zone from the PUA community. It’s been drilled in my head by every guru and that philosophy propelled me forward to make progress in several if not all areas of my life. Most of all it has helped me develop my character and soul to be worthy of respect. I decided to jump into this exclusive relationship so deeply because, as a PUA, I’ve had a fear of committing myself to just one woman, to love her with all my heart and to put all my investments into one stock. When I was an AFC, this sort of all-or-nothing mentality hurt me many times over and over again, but I knew things would be different in some way(s) if I took that same path that I learned to fear, knowing what I know now.

Well, it turns out I was right (so far). I definitely grew and learned a lot already, and I know more is to come. It’s definitely useful to learn how to “diversify your portfolio” and use pickup skills to fill your life with many women, but to learn the lessons of the next phase – to give a relationship with someone you love everything you’ve got – is equally useful for personal development and fulfillment.

This relationship has given me the opportunity to dig up and face some inner demons of mine that I’ve conveniently tucked away while being a PUA. There’s only so many issues you can address and fix if you’re playing around with multiple partners while avoiding serious relationships. The pursuit of INNER GAME, or as others might call enlightenment, self-actualization, fulfillment, whatever, can only be realized if you experience the balance of both the player lifestyle and then the serious exclusive lover role.

The most recent lesson I’ve realized is this…

Having a woman in your life might feel tough sometimes, but it just feels tough because she’s making sure you stay true to who you are, that you don’t lose your drive to chase what you really want. You’re not yourself if you’re being lazy, and you deserve better than not moving forward in life.

You don’t get that if you have many women in your life who are far less emotionally intimate with you.

More to come later…

-Chief

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