Focus Your Confidence

Focus Your Confidence

As a newbie learning the pickup arts, you learned that confidence is attractive, so you decided to act more confidently when you’re interacting with women. What are you confident about, though? Where should the focus of your confidence be?

Is your focus on being confident in how good you look?
Is your focus on being confident in your ability to attract women?
Is your focus on being confident in how great you smell?
Is your focus on being confident in how smooth your approach is?
Is your focus on being confident in how great you’re going to make her feel?
Is your focus on being confident in how great you’ve made other women feel?
Is your focus on being confident in general?

You have to keep all those kind of things in the back of your mind, but that stuff isn’t what you should be focusing on. Wherever your focus is, it has to be here in the now. That’s why you shouldn’t focus on how great you’re going to make her feel, or your past successes. If your focus isn’t in the present tense, you will lose the rhythm of your pickup, just like losing the beat when you’re playing in a band. You can easily start misreading her signals and end up either ejecting when you shouldn’t or harassing her. Bad.

“Well, what do I focus my confidence on, then, Chief?”

Focus your confidence on your desire for her here and now.

There is a difference between having desire (intent) for a girl with and without confidence. A man focused on his desire without confidence comes off as needy and value-taking. He doesn’t know whether or not he deserves the hot babe he’s talking to. He has some strong feelings swirling on inside of him because he’s entranced by her beauty, but when he’s given a regular window of opportunity he will not escalate. Basically, he isn’t confident about his desire, but the desire is certainly there. He’s just too caught up in memories of the past and potential consequences of the future to be here in the now with his relentless desire.

On the other hand you have a man who is totally confident in his unapologetic desire for the woman right in front of him. Gunwitch might say that he’s properly using sexual state. He isn’t concerned about anything other than what is happening here and now and he is enjoying every step of his sarging journey. He is completely confident that he wants her now and will take her when she gives him a window of opportunity. He knows he deserves what he wants. And, guess what? He’s got rhythm and can’t “fuck up” his sarge like guy number 1 can.

Chief

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