Imagine a fat chick going on a healthy diet and exercising regularly as she loses weight to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Everyone she knows compliments her all the time for her valiant effort. Once she actually gets hot, she gets way more attention from men and people shower her with more attention and praise.
Now imagine a beta male AFC learning self improvement and pickup as he gains confidence to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Everyone he tells his commitment to change to looks down on him for following some “bullshit” advice and for being “creepy.” Once he actually garners some success through this discipline, suddenly he’s negatively marked as “one of those pickup guys.”
A girl becoming more attractive by losing weight is directly analogous to a guy becoming more attractive by learning pickup, so why is there such a discrepancy on how people judge these two methods of self improvement?
It’s becoming more clear that there are two very different methodologies in learning pickup nowadays. The first, and arguably “wrong” way to do it is to learn a bag of tricks for the purpose of hiding your true ugly self in an attempt to deceive a woman into believing that you’re better than you actually are. The second, and arguably “right” way to do it is to work through a strenuous process of facing your inner demons and actually changing who you are on the inside so that you genuinely become a “sexworthy” man, and then learn how to present yourself in the most sincere way possible to most effectively communicate your real attractiveness.
You cannot compare the first methodology of learning pickup to a fat chick losing weight through a disciplined program of diet and exercise. Instead it’s more like the fat chick who takes pictures of herself from deceptive overhead angles to produce photos that make her appear more attractive than she actually is, and then posting those pictures on her myspace or facebook. It’s a TRICK that infuriates men who actually buy into the misrepresentation and actually agree to meet up with the girl, only to discover that he’s been fantasizing about a whale.
A woman who commits to a strenuous process of change deserves the respect she gets, as does the man who grows a pair and faces his inner demons to mature himself for real. Any action that involves hiding who you really are is certainly not respectable and in some cases actually disgusting. Unfortunately, the mainstream view of the pickup community is related to the deceptive methods of hiding, but those of us who have nothing to hide won’t have to worry about those negative judgments.
So, to all you PUAs who still use Mystery’s canned material: You are scared about the public knowing about our community because you’re still hiding. Step up to the next level and change yourself instead of just manipulating your behavior. The only way you’ll actually change is to man up and do what you’re afraid of doing. These things include:
>Facing your inner demons.
>Daring to love yourself and all persons.
>Really identifying who you are right now without letting your ego define you.
>Actually approaching women in spite of your approach anxiety.
>Taking full responsibility for your own life and actions.
>Turning the other cheek, metaphorically speaking.
>Taming your ego (Tolle’s ego, not Freud’s).
That’s just a small starter list. If you’ve got any other ideas to contribute, please comment below.
you are sooo completely right. i have been thinking about this aswell. it is not right to use pickup in a bad way and to leave a girl worse then she was before. its about bringing out the best in us so that they can see it. love your take on pickup very refreshing
You know, I never thought of it that way, but you make sense. Canned material is just fine as long as you use it like the person you want to be. I’d REALLy like to read more on facing inner demons. That’s a subject for a whole SLEW of books.