3 Confidence Crutches You Need to Stop Relying On

3 Confidence Crutches You Need to Stop Relying On

Everyone likes to start with training wheels when they first learn how to ride a bike. This applies to both literal bike-riding and pretty much everything else we learn to do in life.

We need a more experienced employee to give us instructions and watch over us when we learn how to work a cash register at our first part-time retail job. We need the internet to look up how to get started in that new video game.

We need someone to hold our hand to walk us through intimidating experiences.

We think we need these crutches because we’re afraid. We make excuses and say that we need to learn how to crawl before we can walk and run and, while that may be true, we tend to take things too far because of the alluring warmth of the comfort zone.

In the context of picking up women, there are many “confidence crutches” that we men tend to rely on too much and, in the long run, it definitely hurts us when it comes to actually getting good at the game of flirting, dating, and seduction.

What are some confidence crutches we need to stop using?

1. Alcohol

This one is way too common. “Liquid courage,” they call it.

We all know why you take that double-shot of Jager or that Tequila Slammer before you even think about approaching that hottie over there across the bar. You’re scared of getting hurt and you want to numb the fear.

We all know the obvious first risk of relying on alcohol when trying to pick up chicks – you become a drunk dumbass. It’s a very unattractive sight.

Let’s give you some benefit of the doubt. Maybe you’re not “that guy.” Maybe you just use this liquid courage to get very very lightly buzzed so you don’t end up looking like an intoxicated fool. Well, I’ve got bad news for you, pal. That’s still not a good thing for you.

I see this happen over and over again. The guy who relies on alcohol ends up being dependent on it to talk to women. Sobriety becomes their pickup kryptonite.

The end result of that path is even more pathetic than the guy who gets totally smashed one time and ends up hitting on all the bartenders.

A man who relies on anything external like alcohol to do something as basic as talking to a woman is not really a man at all.

The Prescription:

What you need is day game. Force yourself to go out and hit on women where you will definitely not drink. Get used to talking to women while being your own damn self instead of your liquid courage persona.

That’s the whole point of trying to sleep with a ton of women, anyway. You’re trying to find women you can really connect with in a genuine way. Relying on a confidence crutch like alcohol won’t get you there and you know it.

2. Pickup Lines and Routines

So, you’re scared of running out of things to say and making things awkward with silence. What do you do? You go on the internet and learn some pickup lines and PUA routines to prepare yourself for these moments.

You wouldn’t want to feel vulnerable while talking to a woman now, would you? Heaven forbid!

Fuck you. First of all, feeling vulnerable isn’t something you should fear. You should embrace it. Those are the moments where you can actually learn a thing or two about yourself and others.

Second of all, these lines and routines are not a true representative of yourself. If you use them, you’re really not giving the woman you’re talking to a fair shot at being attracted to you for who you really are.

Yeah, you might have some weird self-esteem issue and you might believe that no woman will ever like you for you, but you’re wrong. Trust me, there are plenty of people who are fucked up enough to really like and love you for who you really are. 😉

Second of all, if you’re trying to use these routines to showcase how great of a “catch” you are, you’re kind of missing the point of flirting.

She’s a hot girl. She’s heard all those kinds of DHVs before. She gets it. You want to be another competing salesman that she can choose to buy from based on the quality of your product.

Well, maybe it might be better if you don’t just automatically give her that sort of power over you by learning these routines before you even start talking to her. She never asked for it.

The Prescription:

Curiosity. It’s one of the most useful tools you can ever use in pickup.

If you’re genuinely curious about a woman, you’ll never run out of interesting things to talk about. Practice finding ways to talk about the women you talk to more than you talk about yourself. The ladies will love that, I promise.

Oh, and there’s no need to over-complicate things with elaborate pickup lines. All you really need to do is say “hi” and introduce yourself. She knows why you’re talking to her.

And, if there’s ever any doubt, just tell her that you think she’s cute. That’s definitely more than enough reason for you to be talking to her.

3. Other People

Almost every guy in the world falls under this category right now, and every guy in the world has been in this position at some point or another in his life.

You’re guilty and you know what I’m talking about. You were too scared to approach new hot women, so you waited until a friend of yours introduced you to a girl before you started to turn on your charm.

You were too scared to approach new hot women, so you waited until a friend of yours broke up with his girlfriend before you made any moves on anyone.

You were too scared to approach new hot women, so you waited until your wingman approached a group of two girls before you did anything at all.

You’re not a boy anymore. No one is going to spoon-feed you everything that you want for the rest of your life. No one is going to hold your hand and walk you through the masculine responsibilities you need to live through.

Your dating life is one of these areas that you need to take personal responsibility for before you can actually call yourself a man.

I know you’re scared of leaving your warm little comfort zone, but fuck you. Stop being a pussy.

The Prescription:

A lifestyle of abundance with women.

What you need to do is to make meeting new women a habit. Wherever you go out in public, there will be attractive women. Talk to them. Befriend them. Flirt with them. Learn from the Seductive Introvert program and do the missions. Sign up to the email list on this blog.

Over time you will find it easier and easier to approach and get to know new women on a daily basis.

This is worth repeating, so I’ll say it again: I know you’re scared of leaving your warm little comfort zone, but fuck you. Stop being a pussy.

Now get out there and make yourself uncomfortable.

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  1. “I know you’re scared of leaving your warm little comfort zone, but fuck you. Stop being a pussy.”

    At what point is it too much to keep approaching strangers. I’m apparently amazing at looking cool, calm and collected when approaching groups of people I’ve never met before, but inside my body I’m incredibly uncomfortable and want to run away. I’m looking for a way to let my body know that I can handle myself around complete strangers.

    This is also limiting my travel options as I’m stuck moving to places where I have an established ‘base’ so to speak.

    • I get what you’re saying.

      Seems as though you’re going too fast for your body to catch up! If you ease into those new social situations a bit more slowly and naturally, your body can prepare itself better. Turn cold approaches into seemingly warm approaches by “Forcing IOIs” and utilizing “social momentum.”

      Hope that helps!

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