I recieved a private message from a girl today on a forum that I post in sometimes:
“Chief! I love reading your posts, you’re one of the only people I’ll actually make an effort to see what they write on here. Anyway, just wanted you to know you are appreciated!”
As I was trying to think about how I would respond to this message, my mind was drawing a blank. And then, a wave of thoughts and ideas molested my head:
1. “I recieved a sincere compliment. Good ego boost.”
2. “This was from a member of the opposite sex.”
3. “I don’t know what she looks like because this is the internet.”
4. “Besides a standard line like, ‘thank you,’ I don’t know what to say in response.”
5. “Why? She failed to mention anything about herself. The focus was completely directed upon me.”
6. “She didn’t say or ask anything that could potentially elicit a genuine response from me.”
7. “I am not interested in her because she didn’t give me anything to be interested in.”
Don’t get me wrong… there was nothing wrong with this girl as far as I could tell. She’s a sweetheart. She just didn’t talk to me with the most favorable combination of words.
AFCs compliment girls all the time. What happens when a guy walks up to a girl and gives a compliment? Right off the bat, something like this will go on in her head:
1. “I recieved a sincere compliment. Good ego boost.”
2. “This was from a member of the opposite sex.”
3. “I can judge him a little bit by what he looks like, but that’s not enough for my feelings to really decide on anything.”
4. “Besides a standard response like ‘thank you,’ I don’t know what to say in response.”
5. “Why? He failed to mention anything about himself. The focus was completely directed upon me.”
6. “He didn’t say or ask anything that could potentially elicit a genuine response from me.”
7. “I am not interested in him because he didn’t give me anything to be interested in.”
I already knew these concepts, but this realization made me see things more clearly in a structured manner. Having the other-side perspective really opens your eyes. Now I actually feel sorry for all those hot girls at the bars lol. They must be bored out of their minds with guys like that all over the place. Let’s go do them a favor, fellas.
-Chief
She was seeking rapport and complimenting you. That’s two, at the same time, of the four IOIs that I actually bother looking for (the other two being qualifying herself and touching you). Just watching for those four is easier than watching for hair flips and shit.
Lookit: you know how girls say that they’d like a guy to compliment them and buy them flowers and stuff? They aren’t lying. They just aren’t telling the whole story. The part they aren’t mentioning is that they’d like a guy they’re already attracted to to do all that stuff. They’re assuming attraction is over and they’re in comfort.
When you get that, go ahead and give the girl rapport. Act like a rock star who appreciates his fans. Start tossing IOIs back at her. Escalate. Close. No need for coquettry because she’s already attracted.
Err, if you’re in person, that is.
If you swear by M3, consider A2 to be over at that point and go to A3. Get that girl qualifying herself, but be really nice about it (she already perceives you as high value, and if you break rapport on her, you’ll blow her out). “Why are you awesome?” works. Or just compliment her on something you actually like about her to get the ball rolling. She’ll usually qualify like crazy after you compliment her on one thing.
That’s if you stick to M3, of course. If you don’t, kino-escalate, pump BT, and CLOSE.
In other words, imagine yourself as a supplicating, rapport-seeking chode AFC (because that’s basically what the girl is coming in as), and then imagine what said AFC would like a girl to do in that circumstance. Then do that.