Ask Chief: Conversational Transitions

Ask Chief: Conversational Transitions

Every now and then I get a really good question from a user on and I try to answer them to the best of my ability. Here’s a question about transitioning from one conversational topic to the next. Specifically, the question is about my style of how to make good conversation with women, which is all about knowing what you seek in women and finding out everything you can about the personality of the woman you’re talking to in order to see if she’s right for you. “Riter” asks:

How would you transition the conversation? For example, if I want to know if she is outgoing and then later in the conversation I would like to know if she is kind? Basically, transitioning is where I am concerned because sometimes I stay on one topic and I perceive it as dragged out.

There is no one right answer to this question. Different PUAs have different conversational styles, and they would all sound different even if they were all to use my basic conversational framework.

For example, Juggler tells people that “the best transition is no transition.” In the context of routines, he tells people to not worry about transitioning from routine to routine and just go onto the next one even if it seems abrupt. You can pull this off by jumping from one conversational topic to the next even if it doesn’t feel “smooth” as long as you make that your style.

On the other hand, you’ve got teachers like Mystery telling people about multi-threading – to start talking about one thing, cutting it off in the middle, starting a new topic, cutting it off in the middle, starting a new topic, and so on and so forth. It might be difficult for a man to maintain his sanity with this conversational style, but it is the language of women.

What I like to do is to continue diving deeper and deeper. I might ask a woman one simple, shallow question like where her hometown is or what her dream was when she was a kid, then I’d continue talking about her while steering the conversation in a very emotional direction. Along the way of finding out deeper things about her on the same topic of her childhood dream job, I will likely find out other things about her, ask her things only somewhat related to the main topic but more related to something else, etc. If I were to visually represent how this system of conversational transitions looks, it would probably look like a tree with a shit ton of long branches and heavy roots. It’s almost like you’re leading her into telling a very interesting story, and you’re showing her how to tell a story in an interesting way. It might help to look up some resources on effective story-telling. This way should make the two of you feel like things are not being dragged out. You’re talking about the same topic but you’re not talking about the same topic at the same time.

If you’re trying to use my style, you’ll know that you’re doing it right when she’s telling you her most intimate secrets.

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  1. Yo Chief,

    I tired sending a PM on the forums but haven’t gotten a response yet. An experienced PUA that just moved to Seoul from Los Angeles and looking for some other wings/PUAs in Seoul. I’ve definitely done my share of partying in Seoul in years past, so not quite a newbie to the scene as well. Check out the PM on the forums & very interested in meeting up man!

  2. I wana thank you for providing instructive and qualitative stuff so link

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